NLP Lessons Online

Language Patterns

2008-03-10T14:50:00.001+07:00

We will now learn two powerful language models: · The Milton model - vague language patterns, associated with the hypnosis. · The Meta-model - dealing more with specific meaning and asking information gathering questions. Artfully vague language 'Have you got the time?' A closed question like this one

Chunking (3)

2008-03-06T08:25:00.001+07:00

You may need to use all three approaches, and each has its own language patterns. To chunk down. ask the question: 'What provides an example of that?' Keep repeating the question and see how far you can go. To chunk up, ask the question: 'What does that exemplify?' or 'What purpose does that have?' Again, see how far you can chunk up any word or concept. Laterally, 'What provides another

Chunking (2)

2008-03-05T09:46:00.000+07:00

In the same way you can chunk a concept down. For instance, instead of talking of a dog, you might consider a particular dog, or part of a dog (such as the paw), or something which dogs do (such as barking). Chunking sideways or laterally, you stay on the same level. Thus dogs chunk laterally to cats, cows, kangaroos or any other mammals, of which they all form a lower chunk level. Sometimes,

Chunking (1)

2008-03-04T16:09:00.000+07:00

The hierarchy of ideas concerns the way we think and communicate in chunks' - big chunks (at a general or abstract level), or smaller chunks (to whatever level of detail we need). 'Chunking up' therefore involves lifting an idea to a higher, more general level. For example, instead of thinking of 'sheep' and 'cows', you can chunk up conceptually to 'farm animals', then further up to 'animals'.

Using the power of language: The Meta-model and the Milton model

2008-02-28T14:42:00.001+07:00

We use words to express ideas or concepts, and we can make them specific or general, with a continuum in between. At one extreme we use very specific and detailed language, and at the other extreme we communicate in a vaguer, more general way. In NLP we use the Meta Model when wanting to elicit detailed, precise information. The Milton Model, by contrast, uses what in NLP we term 'artfully

pacing & leading

2008-02-12T16:09:00.000+07:00

As well as matching with others, you need to match between the parts of yourself. This requires what we term congruence, simply meaning that what you say and how you express it (in your total physiology, tone of voice, etc.) must harmonise. Research has shown that, although people may not always notice the actual body language a person adopts, they instinctively seem to spot disharmony between

Pacing & Leading (4)

2008-01-28T14:30:00.001+07:00

Pacing and leading can have powerful effects and it pays to use these techniques wisely. Have clear intentions. Why do you want to lead? How will your leading affect the other person and their interests (ecology)? You might succeed in manipulating the other person on one occasion; but in the longer term the relationship will probably suffer, and you will lose out. Sometimes in NLP we have to

Pacing & Leading (3)

2008-01-23T10:48:00.001+07:00

But physiology and feelings closely relate. Thus. by changing your physiology, you can usually lead the other person to change their state. If you gradually pace and lead more positive physiology, voice patterns or language, you will help them regain a positive state of mind.

Pacing & Leading (2)

2008-01-22T17:36:00.001+07:00

Put another way, when matching or pacing, you follow behaviour to achieve rapport. Once in rapport, you lead behaviour to persuade, humour, influence or whatever - to bring about your communication goals or outcomes. Through pacing and leading you can thus calibrate or measure the rapport you have created. Your success in leading a person depends on the quality or level of rapport you have

Pacing and leading (1)

2008-01-21T12:54:00.001+07:00

Through pacing and leading you can establish and maintain rapport, and also bring about changes in the other person. NLP uses the term 'pacing' to refer to matching as an on-going process. The person with whom you wish to gain rapport sets the 'pace', including the speed and tone of voice and physical gesturing. Rather than instantaneous, reflex-like matching, you pace as if in a long race. In

Ability to lead

2008-01-17T15:54:00.001+07:00

Ability to lead - Sometimes the other person begins to follow some of your movements, voice qualities or language. They 'keep pace' with you, and you 'lead' them. The next section discusses this in more detail.

Spontaneous comment

2008-01-16T15:06:00.000+07:00

Spontaneous comment - People will sometimes literally tell you how they feel about a communication, and you may miss this if you only watch for hidden indicators. Listen for the other person making some positive statement, such as 'I agree', 'that's right' or 'absolutely'. 'We're on the same wave-length' or 'You must have read my mind' may indicate stronger rapport. In more formal situations,

Colour change

2008-01-14T12:11:00.000+07:00

Colour change - Watch for a change of colour in the other person's skin. You may not match such involuntary changes directly. But, having calibrated them, you may then match the state they indicate in your own way. For example, you will build rapport if you match the other person's mood - excited, animated, serious, amused or whatever characteristic their changes in skin colour might indicate.

Calibrating rapport (2)

2008-01-11T10:43:00.001+07:00

An internal feeling - You may get a sense of 'connectedness' with the person. This calls upon natural, 'right-brain' intuitive skills that may have atrophied if you have not used them much. However, with practice, you can learn to sense these internal feelings. You may have to take a few risks in trusting your intuition, as it may not seem to square with logic. Right-brain feelings or '

Calibrating rapport

2008-01-09T16:09:00.000+07:00

Once you have practiced the different matching techniques, you can carry on to perfect your rapport skills to any level you wish. As well as establishing rapport, you also need to recognize whether rapport exists, and to what degree. We have already stressed the need for careful observation (sensory acuity) so that you can detect or measure (calibrate) rapport. Calibration, a term borrowed from

Matching breathing

2008-01-04T01:11:00.000+07:00

As you learn to observe the 'micro' physiological movements and gestures covered earlier, you may also notice differences in breathing patterns. Breathing offers another opportunity for matching. Calibrating (or measuring) breathing takes practice and you may need to start using your movement-sensitive peripheral vision. While making eye contact you may notice peripherally the rise and fall of

Matching experience

2008-01-03T01:10:00.000+07:00

Put one or two accountants together, or nurses, or aeroplane enthusiasts, and before long you will have plenty of conversation and rapport. The same thing happens when you meet a stranger from your home town or someone who attended the same school or university. Your experiences or 'maps' overlap, so you share common ground or 'likeness'. You can use the experience matching principle even more

Matching beliefs and values

2008-01-02T01:09:00.000+07:00

Deep-rooted values have special importance to people, and by matching them you can sometimes touch a person's 'hot button'. Universal, or macro, values and beliefs, like 'fairness', 'honesty' and 'courtesy' help to establish early rapport which you can build on, using physiological and other types of matching. Once you find a common basis of understanding, other matching techniques will usually

Matching language and thinking style

2008-01-01T01:07:00.000+07:00

Once you notice how differently people behave in everyday communication, you will start to recognize their thinking style and preferences. Matching a person's thinking style produces powerful rapport. The way we think in the three primary senses mirrors the way we use our senses externally.Visual - People who think primarily in a visual way tend to use language that contains visual words and

Matching voice

2007-12-31T01:05:00.000+07:00

Sometimes you will find physiological matching inappropriate or impossible, such as on the telephone when you cannot see the other person. But the pitch and tone of your voice also represent a major part of any communication. And, according to research, this may have more impact than the actual words we say. The more aspects of a person you can match, the more effectively you can create rapport.

Micro matching

2007-12-30T01:03:00.000+07:00

As well as the degree of matching, the type of matching also forms a continuum. Finer micro matching, for instance, might include the subtlest physiological changes. Although requiring keen observation skills, in this case you can achieve strong rapport inconspicuously. By observing someone carefully you will soon start to notice numerous little mannerisms, all of which offer matching potential.

Macro matching

2007-12-29T11:01:00.000+07:00

As well as specific matching, think about your overall position, say within the room, or vis-a-vis furnishings, in relation to the other person. You can, for example, match a person sitting across a desk, or with chairs facing, just like a mirror image. Alternatively, you can sit together, facing the same direction (as when on a couch), and still match gestures and body position. The latter

Part matching

2007-12-28T20:02:00.001+07:00

Matching happens progressively. You don't have to immediately match every aspect of the person's body language. Start with just one aspect - say the overall posture or stance. Then gradually match the angle of the head, crossing limbs and limb movements, size of gestures, voice volume and pitch, and so on. Matching forms a continuum rather than an either/or approach. So you can experiment with

Rapport and communication skills (2)

2007-12-26T22:25:00.000+07:00

Matching PhysiologyPeople who get on well together tend to adopt the same body posture when communicating. Look at people locked in conversation and you will often see their silhouettes mirroring each other. An old couple, after many years of marriage, frequently almost seem to look alike. As well as overall posture, people tend to use similar gestures and mannerisms. For example, they may both

Rapport and communication skills (1)

2007-12-24T10:16:00.001+07:00

The ability to get on with others helps ensure success in almost every walk of life. If your job depends on interacting with people, managing them or otherwise depending on them, you will need this communication skill. And we all need it in any family or social context. We sometimes call this interpersonal skill 'rapport'. Having a good rapport with another person creates the right conditions for

Submodalities, the difference that makes the difference! (2)

2007-12-24T09:01:00.000+07:00

Submodalities give the fine distinctions to any modality and transform the objective, physiological processes of seeing, hearing and feeling into subjective experience. We all know that the same external sensory inputs can have very different effects on different people. What makes one person happy will make another person sad, for example, because we code these inputs in the brain, and filter

Submodalities, the difference that makes the difference! (1)

2007-12-24T08:37:00.001+07:00

So far we have talked about the main ways of thinking - in sounds, pictures, feelings, tastes and smells - these are known as the ‘representational systems’ or ‘modalities’, but this is only the first step. If you wanted to describe an internal picture you have seen, there is a lot of detail you could add. Was it in colour or black and white? was it still or like a moving picture? was it near

Describing experience using the 4-tuple

2007-12-22T13:00:00.000+07:00

Modalities are the representational systems: visual (V), auditory (A), kinesthetic (K), olfactory (O) and gustatory (G). We take in information from the external (e) world using our five senses , and those same five senses are used internally (i) to process information. We see pictures, hear sounds, feel feelings and also we are able to smell and taste internally. Our ongoing experience can be

Synesthesia

2007-12-22T12:00:00.000+07:00

Sometimes you may notice that a person seems to use two representational systems at the same time. For example, he or she may indicate visual eye movements but use kinesthetic predicates and body language. Termed 'synesthesia', in this case two or more representational systems work in unison.For instance, a certain sound may have a feel or texture or colour. In other cases a strong memory may

Lead system

2007-12-22T11:00:00.000+07:00

Just as we have a preferred / primary representational system for our conscious thinking, so we also have a preferred means of bringing information into our conscious thought. This is called the ‘lead system’ in NLP, the internal sense that we use as a handle to reach back to a memory. It is how the information reaches the conscious mind. It is sometimes called the ‘input system’, as it supplies

Non Verbal Cues

2007-12-22T06:46:00.000+07:00

Eye accessing cues We can detect what representational systems a person is using by noticing their patterns of eye movements.If I ask you to visualize the face of a schoolteacher, as far back as you can remember, you will probably look slightly up and to your left. If I ask you to remember his or her voice, or perhaps the sound of the bell or buzzer signaling the end of class, you will probably

‘The ways we take in, store and code information in our mind’

2007-12-22T06:15:00.000+07:00

Representational systems, preferred/primary system and predicatesThe ways we take in, store and code information in our mind is through our five senses - seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling - these senses are known as ‘representational systems’ or ‘modalities’ in NLP. We use our senses outwardly to perceive the world, and inwardly to ‘re-present’ experience to ourselves. When we

Exploring and understanding our ‘models of the world’

2007-12-22T06:13:00.000+07:00

We perceive the world around us through our five senses: hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling and tasting. Whatever the world is really like, we use our senses to explore and map it. The world is an infinity of possible sense impressions and we are able to perceive only a very small part of it. The small part we do perceive is further filtered by our unique experiences, culture, language, beliefs,

NLP Presuppositons

2007-12-22T05:46:00.000+07:00

What are the underlying principles of NLP? Your computer has something called an ‘operating system’ by which it runs. In a similar way, NLP also has an ‘operating system’ by which it runs. This system is called the ‘NLP presuppositions’. We call them presuppositions because we pre-suppose them to be true and then notice the results we get. It is not claimed that they are true or universal.

INTRODUCTION

2007-12-21T22:26:00.000+07:00

What is NLP?Neuro-linguistic Programming is a model for understanding and utilizing communications that produces positive change and personal growth. As an applied science, NLP offers specific procedures for education, training, business and therapy. The field of NLP has developed out of the modeling of the behaviors and thinking processes of exceptional people from many fields. Modeling is the