Using the power of language: The Meta-model and the Milton model

We use words to express ideas or concepts, and we can make them specific or general, with a continuum in between. At one extreme we use very specific and detailed language, and at the other extreme we communicate in a vaguer, more general way. In NLP we use the Meta Model when wanting to elicit detailed, precise information. The Milton Model, by contrast, uses what in NLP we term 'artfully vague' language. Both models can achieve extraordinary communication results, but in very different ways. Although you will learn about these two models, in practice the way we use language represents more of a continuum. In speaking and writing we keep moving along it, adopting different degrees of preciseness or vagueness. To change the analogy, we adopt a hierarchy of preciseness or vagueness, and operate within that hierarchy, depending on the purpose and circumstances of our communication.

 

PRECISE

‘The continuum of language’

 

VAGUE

A high-level concept word or nominalization, like 'honesty' (as in 'Jean values honesty'), has only a general meaning. But, depending on the context, you can usually break it down into more concrete ideas (like 'She tells the truth to her boss' or 'She speaks her mind'), and eventually to specific actions as examples of honesty. Thus we form a hierarchy under 'honest', which will extend to almost any level of detail, until we reach the 'deep structure' of meaning.

pacing & leading

As well as matching with others, you need to match between the parts of yourself. This requires what we term congruence, simply meaning that what you say and how you express it (in your total physiology, tone of voice, etc.) must harmonise. Research has shown that, although people may not always notice the actual body language a person adopts, they instinctively seem to spot disharmony between words and total physiology. Somehow we unconsciously pick up the communication signals. We also know from research that, when mismatched, people tend to take body language rather than the words we say as 'truth'. In fact, according to one major study, words alone account for a mere 7 per cent of the effectiveness of face-to-face communication. You will find it hard to fake congruence. So follow the rules of respect and staying within your natural comfort zone in all your communications. A fully congruent communication has enormous effect, whether a public presentation or a one-to-one conversation.