Pacing and leading (1)

Through pacing and leading you can establish and maintain rapport, and also bring about changes in the other person. NLP uses the term 'pacing' to refer to matching as an on-going process. The person with whom you wish to gain rapport sets the 'pace', including the speed and tone of voice and physical gesturing. Rather than instantaneous, reflex-like matching, you pace as if in a long race. In other words, you stay with the person. So you can use pacing as a strategic rather than a tactical skill, for instance in an important negotiating situation where you need to establish a meeting of minds. Although usually applied to physiological matching, you can also pace, for instance, experience, beliefs and values, and language, as I explained above. When 'leading', you gradually change your own behaviour (whilst maintaining rapport), in such a way that the other person intuitively matches, or 'follows' you.